Monday, July 29, 2019

I have been trying to get back on my diet that I used to lose 40 lbs. And yet, I am finding that I can't stay on it. I keep having incredible cravings. The worst part is when I completely give in and give up. It got me thinking and questioning whether I am getting the help that I need. Is the universe against me in trying to achieve my goal.

That night I was thinking over these thoughts I happen to meet with a friend, who I found out is also on a similar diet. We both gave encouragement to each other to be our best and do our best. It was after this meeting that I realized something profound. If you ever felt that the universe is conspiring against you, think again. Ask yourself this question, who wants you to fail at your goals? Is there really a group of people that are so cruel that they do not wish you to succeed at your goals? There is only one person that is shouting, "Failure!" And that is the little wretch inside. In fact, everyone beside this wretch if they knew about your goals would probably cheering you on to succeed. And yet, despite the overwhelming ratio of a trillion to one, I keep giving that one more credence than the trillion. It goes back to the lesson that I taught at my father's funeral. There at legions cheering us on. It is high time we start listening to them.

I wanted to write a poem about this


To whom bear the Lord's vessels give heed the Lord's will
For he speaks to our day as he spoke in days old
And his voice as rainfall and like dew shall distil
To give strength to the weak and give peace to the bold

That the order and will of the Lord may be known
Of the temporal health and of man's mortal frame
The great God of the heavens revealed to his own
A wise counsel for all in this world to proclaim

And gave promises melded with principles sound
To adapt to the strength of the weakest of saint
Each capacity taken and none too profound
So that all could partake and be free of complaint

For He warned in that day and forewarned would exist
A conspiring design in the hearts of base men
To destroy and corrupt, and make hard to resist
Save we heed the Lord's wisdoms again and again

And all saints who remember to keep and do thus
Ever walking, obeying, observing this word
Shall receive in their navel the health he will bless
To their bones giveth marrow, so saith the Lord

And shall find hidden treasures esteemed of a saint
Yea, of wisdom and knowledge all treasures of worth
And shall run without wearing and walk and not faint
With good health all the days that they breathe on this Earth

And the Lord shall last give to the saint who obeys
Like the children of Israel who chose to do right
A great promise to span to the end of their days
That the angel of death shall pass by in the night

He will honor this pledge that was forged long ago
To pass over the just for the covenant made
And not slay them, instead shall a blessing bestow
For the Word of God's Wisdom aids those unafraid

So give heed to these words of inscribed holy writ
Know they come from a Father who watches with love
He is ever forgiving our sins he'll remit
But a sacrifice humble's required thereof

To whom bear the Lord's vessels be clean and be pure
And take hold of faith's shield and with peace thy feet shod.
Let your garments be white and forever endure
To the end and be found in the temples of God.

Thursday, July 25, 2019


Take up a hope in Christ and live!
Take hold His hands He doth extend
For hope is what the Lord shall give
To stay our faith until the end

For faith cannot exist in fine
Nor will not be for us attained
Save we shall first show forth this sign
Of hope in Chirst, a hope unfeigned.

O God in whom our hope is sown
We seize thy gift forgiveness bears
And lay our sins before thy throne
Atoned to rise as heaven's heirs

Unfettered hope shall fill the meek
And lowly hearts of them that place
Their trust upon the Lord they seek
To ever know his truth and grace.

For faith gives way when hope abounds
And stronger swells the faith of those
To whom Christ's gift of grace surrounds
To lift from death and sinful throes

O God in whom our hope is sown
We seize thy gift forgiveness bears
And lay our sins before thy throne
Atoned to rise as heaven's heirs

Friday, June 28, 2019


One Sunday free to church I went
To sing and worship there with friends
My mind became a drift and rent
'Tween here and where the Spirit wends

I sat upon my bench in thought
A gazing on a kindly soul
Who was a benched in her same spot
Exemplar in her mother's role

Yet, she wasn't hedged by kin or clan
Nor were her children seated near
She was not warmed by arm of man
And yet, her motherhood was clear.

For though alone she seemed to be
Her solitude bore witness of
The lessons she had taught her three
Good sons to serve and act with love.

Her husband humble led this crew
In teaching her three sons to serve
He honored true his vows, I knew
His priesthood calls he did observe.

A front the congregation stood
To lead the people in their praise
Unite them all in brotherhood
With rousing words their spirits raise

I say this brother served with heart
And she the spouse gave kindly eye
That caused his troubles to depart,
His doubts they fled while she stood by.

The woman's eldest son learned too
Of how to serve and firmly stand
She taught him faith and all he knew
To serve his Lord and fellow man

And so this boy to man had grown
When answered he the call of God
To serve afar in lands unknown
And give two years to preach abroad

And thus had left his mother lone
A seated on that bench this morn
To go and reap the fruits she'd sown
In all she'd taught to her firstborn.

And like the first the second gone
Not seated on his mother's pew
Instead I found her loyal son
In sacred act was serving, too

With pure white vestments and clean hands
He broke and blessed the bread for us
Reminding all the fettered bands
That Christ had loosed upon his cross

And though his mother sat amid
The quiet congregation mute
Her words of truth could not be hid
To hers his actions followed suit

Last was her youngest not among
His mother's loving company
For hymns of praise he led and sung
To bring angelic harmony

He served the masses with his gift
And stood before our mighty throng
Cajoled the melody adrift
And fill the air with blissful song

His body flawed and lark twas known
But led the hymns with deftly hand
His mother proud was not alone
We all felt proud of this young man

This woman sitting with no kin
In church caused me to ponder here
How blessed is the strength that's been
Of those the women I hold dear!

They've taught me service, charity,
The power of prayer and hope.
Their knowledge gave me clarity
To understand the fuller's soap

I've left them many times forlorn
To sit while I was called to serve
Yet honor I return adorn
In gratitude they well deserve

So when you see a solitaire 
Kind woman sitting on her own
Look at the bows she's groweth near
You'll see her work is ever shown.

This poem was inspired one Sunday when I saw a sister in our ward. She always sat her same spot. Nothing unusual. What inspired me was seeing all three of her sons and her husband all providing different acts of service. The husband served as a counselor in the bishopric, her oldest was on a mission in South Africa, her second blessed the sacrament, and her youngest conducted our music. Many a week she was always alone, but her bows were full of great fruit.

Friday, May 17, 2019


She didn't lick like a dog,
Nor was small like an ant.
That's all because TRUDY
Was our fam'ly's elephant.
She had a long gray trunk
That was squishy to hold,
Which she used to snuggle
On nights that were cold.
She would tromp through our home,
Making sounds of parade
She ate sweet ripe bananas
And drank sour lemonade.
She was scared of dark nights,
'Cause for a beast she was little
Her eyes glowed like blue starlights
Her breath sweet like peanut brittle.
She was helpful. She was kind.
She was funny and nice.
She was fun to have around.
Such a treat with some spice!
And though she made messes
Big and small 'round our place,
There's a hole in our hearts
Where she'll always have a space.

My daughter, Mirasyn had an activity at school called Camp Learn-a-lot. The teacher had us write letters to the kids as if they were away at a summer camp. I wanted to write something interesting, as Mirasyn is quite creative and has an incredible imagination. I told how her mom missed her so much that in her grief she went out and bought a pet baby elephant. I followed up the first letter with a second telling how Mom came to her senses and took the elephant back. Nonetheless, the elephant, Gertrude "Trudy" still left a lasting impression. In this poem, it is a remembrance of that elephant, which has all the same characteristics of my Mirasyn!

Friday, May 3, 2019


The gift we hope that you will find
Is one we got from He who's kind.
Christ gave His life upon the tree
He took the sins from you and me.
And did what no one else had done
He broke the bands of Death--and won!

He lives this day!
He lives once more!
He lives this day!
Rejoice once more

And when death comes to you and me
Fear not for Christ has made us free.
We'll rise and live as He has done,
For over Death, our Savior won!

He live this day!
He live once more!
He lives this day!
Rejoice once more

Saturday, April 27, 2019


I haven't written in a while. I read an obituary of the father of a friend and previous co-worker today on Facebook. I wanted to leave my condolences to lift her up, as I know first-hand what it means to lose a parent. I started by just writing the same thing everyone else was writing. Yet, it dawned on me that I have the potential to say something more. The words of An Irish Blessing I once learned while in a quartet up at college came to me. I wanted to say something like that for Ann.

A Bereft's Blessing

May the memories never fade away.
May the void feel smaller one day.
May his voice stay familiar upon your ears. May you have moments full of peaceful tears.
May you find honor in taking up where he left his trail.
May your meeting be sweet beyond the veil.

When Mom and Dad died, I wanted so desperately to tell everybody about how wonderful they were. I wanted to know more about them. I found great comfort reading their journals. I felt a duty and pull to finish any of their work that was left undone.

I still miss them times even more than that. The hole and void never has gone away. And I don't want it to. It is that emptiness of them not being there that reminds me of them. And in remembering them, I remember their story. I remember their counsels and lessons. I remember good times, and the hurt. But where once the hurt brought tears of sorrow, they bring peaceful tears. Ones that cool and soothe me. I never regret those moments. I cherish them.

One thing I do regret though, and it stings bitterly. It is how easily the familiarity of their voices slip from my memory. I can't hear them. And when I do with my minds ear, they are distant and far from me. If it were not for pictures, their faces might also fade. Thank you for the pictures. I used to have an old message on my voicemail from Mom. "Jayson---it's your mom. Call me when you get this message". I would listen to it on the hard days, twice on the harder days. After the program updated, her voice was lost. I know what it means to forget their voices.

My hope is that this blessing may lift others that travel my road.

I have been trying to get back on my diet that I used to lose 40 lbs. And yet, I am finding that I can't stay on it. I keep having incre...